Three Years Married!!!

Today is our three year anniversary! It has been a great day. We had french toast for breakfast and then went to the post office and went shopping. We went out for lunch and got a few more Christmas decorations. We are not exchanging gifts this year because we got each other alot of gifts for Christmas. Right now we are going to fold some laundry and put it away.

I went to the bathroom and noticed a little blood so we are waiting for the doctor to call back. It has put a damper on the day but the good news is I am not in any pain. I really hope everything is ok I don't want to loose the baby. I hope the doctor calls soon so we know what he wants us to do. I have an ultrasound on Friday but he may want me to go in today. I guess we will just wait and see.

I really hope the baby is ok. I HATE waiting!!!

UPDATE: the nurse called and said the doctor told her there was nothing they could do and I just need to wait till the ultrasound on Friday. She said I could go on bed rest if I could and if I wanted to. Darin and I talked about it and I am going on bed rest (thank goodness Darin is off) I have spotted three times but that is all. I hope everything is ok come Friday. Thanks everyone for the well wishes.

My Husband!!!

My husband is truly amazing! He is so sweet and cares about me so much. It has been snowing all day and he had to work, he told me not to shovel and just relax. He doesn't want me doing to much because he is afraid something is going to happen to the baby. I feel bad not keeping up on the driveway like I did last year but I know it is better for the baby if I don't. I hate just sitting here not doing much but I know in the end it will all be worth it. I am still cooking and getting up to pee but that is about it. Tomorrow I am going to a friends house to watch the movers move his stuff in then I will come home and rest. We are going out this weekend to get our Christmas tree! The doctor has not put me on bed rest but he did say to take it easy. I think I will just switch off, one day go shopping or walk and rest the next day, and still cook everyday I think everything will work out great. I am so lucky to have a husband that helps me around the house and tells me to sit and do nothing. I don't know what I would do without him. Darin means the world to me and I am so grateful to have such a great man by my side. He is a wonderful husband and I know he will be an awesome father!!! I love him with all my heart!!!

One Year in North Dakota

Today marks one year since we got to North Dakota. It has been one hell of a year. First we arrived in North Dakota and were homeless for a month. We finally found a tiny pet friendly rental. We were so cramped in that house but looking back it was a very cozy home. We started more test for the infertility issues. We got some great news, Darin's sperm is perfect. Darin moved up in rank. We got a house on base. I started Clomid, we had tons of baby making sex and it worked. We got pregnant with our first baby and could not be more excited!!! I went to Vegas for my sisters graduation. I am still so proud of her! I got back to Minot and shortly after I had a miscarriage. Not a day goes by that I don't think about the baby we lost. My sister came for a visit and we took road trips around North Dakota. My favorite place we went was the center of North America. There was a big museum and a great place to eat. Darin went to Texas for some training for about two weeks. I took Clomid again and it didn't work. Then the next month I took it again and it made me ovulate. Shadow turned 3 and not to long after Darin turned 26. We took a road trip to see Sitting Bull's grave site in South Dakota. That was alot of fun! I turned 23 and I had a white birthday for the first time in a very long time. I learned how much I hate dogs and cant believe I have dealt with it for so long. We had a few people over for Thanksgiving and it was such a great day. I am so glad people came and the food was so good. Again we had lots or baby making sex and it worked again. We found out not to long ago that we are pregnant again. We had an ultrasound the other day and were able to see the babies heartbeat! It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I think that is about it. I am sure I probably missed some stuff but you can read past blogs to get up to date with my life. Right now we are just trying to spend as much time together as we can, getting ready for Christmas, and we are hoping this pregnancy goes full term. It feels different this time, more real if that makes any sense. Thanks for reading!!

Black Friday!!!!!!

Darin, Brittany, Will, and I went to walmart at midnight. It was crazy busy and the lines were so long. We got tons of stuff! It was alot of fun but I don't think I will do Black Friday shopping again. It was really crowded and people are just rude. I am happy that we got almost everything on our list. We spent a little over $400 but it was worth it for sure. We were in Line to check out for like an hour and a half! Not only did we get some good stuff but it was a great experience.

Brittany is such a great friend! I can not even imagine what my life would be like right now if I did not meet her. She brought me a Happy Meal tonight and it totally hit the spot. We had so much fun shopping together last night.

We got home at about 2:30am and went to sleep at about 4am. I could not sleep good and ended up getting out of bed at 10am. I went and had more blood work done then got a call from the nurse and had to go back in. I really hate driving into town all the time but that last time was so worth it!

I am so lucky to live the life I do! I have such an amazing husband. He means the world to me and I love him with all my heart!

Thanksgiving!!!

I feel so lucky to be able to open my home to guys who had no place to go on Thanksgiving. It was a great day, everyone was so nice and loved the food. Brittany helped so much and made an amazing cake! After all the food was eaten and leftovers were packed for everyone the guys played video games. I have never had Thanksgiving with friends it is usually with my family. After moving here I knew I wanted to host as many holidays as I can. It is different with friends instead of family but it is alot of fun. I love getting to know new people and talking for hours. I really hope everyone had a great time, I know I did. At the end of the night while the guys played video games I cleaned up and did tons of dishes. It was alot of work but totally worth it. I cant wait for Christmas! As of right now they have to work but I will make sure I cook early so everyone can eat before work.

My 23rd Birthday!!!

Yesterday was my birthday! I have to say it started off kind of crappy. I was mad I could not get breakfast in bed. There was too much snow for Darin to do get anything and we had taken apart the stove to let the stuff soak before we washed it the night before so he could not cook anything. Although he did heat me up some pizza and bring it to me on the couch. We had to go out and shovel even though we bought a snow blower! If we used the snow blower we had no place to put it after, if we put it back in the entry way all wet it would have ruined the floor and if we put it in the garage the dogs would have peed on it and ruined it. There was like six and a half inches of snow but it was pretty light and easy to shovel. I cleaned off the car and truck while Darin did most of the shoveling. I was just annoyed and irritated in the morning but Darin made my day so much better. We made pigs in a blanket together and snuggled on the couch to watch tv. Darin ran to the store last night to get some watter for Thanksgiving and he came home with Carrot Cake!! He put some candles in it and we had cake. It was so so sweet. It was a great day because I have a great husband!

5 Months...(a day late)

Yesterday marked 5 months since the miscarriage. Let me explain why I am a day late. I did not forget but my husband kept me so busy yesterday that I did not even think about it. To compare yesterday to the day I lost the baby: it is so so different. I still think about the baby and cry but not often. There is so much going on this week and just in my life. I will never forget that baby but the pain is easier. I sometimes think about where I would be in the pregnancy now and it makes me sad. I should be getting ready to have a baby in January! Instead I am getting ready Thanksgiving dinner and starting all over again.

When I first had the miscarriage I cried everyday. I still have alot of questions that I wish I had answers for! I don't cry everyday now maybe once or twice a week about the baby. It is never crying for hours like before. I just shed a few tears for the baby, for the memory, for the what could have been, and for myself.