Friday, February 21, 2014
I have become increasingly crappy about updating my blog. So much is going on and every time I think to write a blog I get distracted. We are still moving to North Carolina sometime in April. I am trying to pack but as of right now I think I have packed all that I can in advance. The exact dates of the move are still up in the air and Darin still needs to make a trip to North Carolina in March. The dates on that are still unknown as well. This will be our most last minute move ever. Even though we have known we are moving for a few months we will not have a final leave date until probably a week or so before we go. Aidan is 16 months old today! He is such an amazing little boy. He is talking more and running every where. He is still breastfeeding on demand and eating pretty much everything we eat. We had fish a couple weeks ago, I am not crazy about fish and didn’t think Aidan would like it but he seemed to enjoy it. He also seems to like mushrooms but they do not seem to agree with his stomach. He is trying to climb anything and everything he can. He is giving “high fives” sometimes and is now waving at everyone he sees. He is still signing “milk” when he wants to nurse. He will point and yell at things to let us know he wants them. He is still rear facing in his car seat and will be for years to come. Aidan will point to his nose, belly, head, mouth, ears, and penis when asked. It is pretty cute. If he sees your belly he immediately attacks your belly button. He has also been giving “Eskimo kisses” almost every time I ask. It amazes me how smart he is. He has a set of different color balls and if we say “get the blue ball” he will get the blue ball almost every time. We are working on the animals and their sounds now. Darin can still make Aidan laugh with the smallest things but I have to work a bit harder to get a laugh out of him. Aidan is such a great toddler! Every day with him is an adventure and I would not change it for the world. We are such a lucky family. Darin and I are so grateful to have each other. We work hard to make our lives what we want them to be. I love being married to my best friend. We have been through some hard times but I like to think we came out the other side stronger than ever. I still think of Weylin and Holly but the pain of the loss is so much easier to handle now. Instead of a stinging pain in my heart they are a great reminder of how strong I am. I have lost two children but I am still here. I was finally able to carry a baby to term and sustain his life with my breast milk. My body is no longer a failure. My body is finally doing what it was made to do and I am proud! Life is amazing right now and I am so grateful for that! I am glad we have decided not to have more children. I do not ever want to try to have a baby again. My infertility journey ended the day Aidan was born and I want to leave it that way. I do not want to be sad every month and I do not want to something that I can not have anymore. Now that my journey is over I can look back and be grateful for the experience but the pain of infertility is still with me. I do not want to start again. I am happy with life right now and I want to give Aidan all of my love and attention. He deserves to be loved and cared for with out interference. Darin and I both have sisters and hate it. We are the oldest and were treated like crap. Our sisters are the babies of the families so they were babied. The grass is always greener on the side I guess. I am sure some only children hated it and some people with siblings love it. Between the infertility and miscarriages I just can not bring myself to try to have a baby when I already have one. I got what I wanted and do not want to be greedy.