Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Days Go By....

It is 9am and the house is so peaceful. It is not to bright nor to warm. Shadow and Spooky are relaxing, Darin is sleeping, and I am sitting on the couch. The past few days have been great. It seems like our luck is turning around and things have been going our way. I hope this luck last a while but is it really luck? Or are we just stepping up more and getting what we want? September will be here in a couple days and this is a big month for us. Many decisions will be made and hopefully we will have a pretty good 5 year plan. We have been through many hardships in our lives together but we have always come out on the other side stronger. I am very lucky to have the husband I do! No matter what happens or what life throws at us we will face it together and be strong.

Some very very good news....As long as things go as plan Darin is three classes away from his degree and he is taking two of them now and if he doesn't have the time to clep out of the third one then it starts in October. I was helping Darin edit a paper he wrote the other day and I forgot how much I love writing.

I started this blog because we were moving and it was a good way for our families to keep up with our lives but it has turned into so much more. After losing the baby I was able to come here and get out all my feeling and push on through my day or in the middle of the night when all I could do was cry I was able to get on here and write it out. Some people may think I get to personal on here but I see it as being helpful. Many people go through the same emotions and some of the same struggles and most of those people feel alone. Reading my blog helps some people realize they are not alone and it helps them open up and talk about it. I have always said I would rather be open about my struggles, even embarrassed at times, if I can help one person deal with their pain.

I have some reading I need to get done and I am going to have some breakfast. I wish moments of peace like this could last forever but my day must go on. I am in a good mood and I am going to try my hardest to stay in a good mood. Sometimes I get all wrapped up in the negative in my life and I forget about all the positive. Well here is to a great day and being happy!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

rOaD tRiP!!!!

We went to Mall of America! It was a great weekend! We left Friday morning about 9am and got there that night about 6:30pm. We checked into the hotel and then went and walked around the mall for a couple hours. We ordered room service and hung out in bed till we went to sleep! On Saturday we got up at 8:30am (if you know us then you know that is very early) we walked abound the mall a bit then went to the Aquarium. We did a little shopping then went to Bubba Gump for lunch! After lunch we left the mall to go to Costco! I spent way to much money but at least now we have enough trash bags to last 2 years! We went right back to the mall and did even more shopping and tons of walking! Darin did a flight simulation thing and it was like he was flying the plane. He said it was alot of fun! We had dinner at the Rainforest Cafe and then went to the bar at Cadilac Ranch. We got food to go for later in the hotel and Darin rode the bull! We got back to the hotel about 9pm and just hung out. Sunday morning we woke up at 9am and packed up the car and checked out of the hotel. We stopped at Cabela's to look around and do some shopping. It was a huge store and they even had an Aquarium! We stopped for lunch a couple hours away and got home at about 7pm. It was a long drive but worth every minute! We went a little over budget but not much. We both had a great time and we are already thinking about places to go in October! We left Shadow and Spooky alone the whole time and I have to say I was freaking out a bit, but they were both fine when we got home!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

pregnant? not this month

Here is some TMI for you....I got my period so I am for sure not pregnant. I am sad the Clomid didn't work again. I made an appointment to see my OB and I will make him put me on something else (once our break is over) We are taking a break from infertility treatments because I am sick all the time from all the pills. I cant leave the house most days because I am so sick and I want my life back. I want to be able to go shopping and not have to worry about being sick, or make plans with friends and not have to worry about being sick, or go on a road trip with my husband and not worry about being sick. I guess I am just sick of being sick! We will take a little break and focus on all the good instead of on the maybe. We will try again and I am sure some of you are thinking "maybe it will just happen while you are taking a break" that would be nice but I have a disease so it wont just happen, we have to make it happen.

On to some awesome news! Darin and I are going to Mall of America very soon!!! It is about an 8 hour drive and we are going to be there for three days and two nights! I am very excited to get away from Minot for a while and relax, oh and do tons of shopping!!!!

Oh one more thing. People are truly awesome! Some people suck but I have met such nice people in my time as a Military wife. Some people are so nice and caring, it is nice to see that when sometimes there is so much negative.

Friday, August 5, 2011


Well it has been so long since I last blogged! My period is due on the 8th and I kind of want to pee on a stick and I kind of don't want to know either way. If I am pregnant I cant tell Darin the good news for over a month(long story) If I am not pregnant then we just go on with our lives and not do fertility drugs for a few months. This month was our last chance to get pregnant for a few months. I could put off the day I find out if I am or am not pregnant for ever. I like being close to my period but not knowing. It is relaxing because I'm not on fertility drugs, I don't need to lay down after sex, and I'm not sure if I am pregnant so I am not freaking out about loosing the baby. I guess on August 8th this relaxing feeling will be over and I will be upset because I get my period or happy/scared because I am pregnant. I cant keep you updated because either way Darin will think I get my period so I cant blog about it.