Saturday, September 29, 2012
just be happy!
We are now 38 weeks and 2 days pregnant!!!! I could not be more excited! Darin and I have worked so hard and been through so much to get to where we are today. I hate to say we have some negative people in our lives. From the beginning they did not want us to try and pregnant and through out this whole pregnancy they have been negative and pretty mean. I could care less how people feel or what they think. It bothers me that our families can not put their feelings aside and just be supportive and happy for us. Not everyone in both of our families is being negative but one day the negative people will regret it. There is already one person in our family that will never meet my son or have anything to do with him. That is not because I am mean but because I need to protect my sweet baby from her negativity and immaturity. When Darin and I got married we talked and talked about trying to have kids. We decided we wanted to start trying. I went off birth control in 2008 and nothing happened. We found out I was infertile and all the doctors said I had less then a 1% chance of getting pregnant with out fertility treatments. I took Clomid 3 times in 2010 and got pregnant twice! Darin and I were so excited then our hearts were broken. We lost the first baby and decided to keep trying, and then we lost the second baby and again decided to keep trying. In 2011 we had a lot more test done and I was on Clomid 3 times and didn’t get pregnant again. Darin and I talked a lot and decided we did not want to use fertility again for a while. We did not do anything to prevent getting pregnant but we really had no hope it would happen on its own. February 2012 my period was late and at first I didn’t think anything of it. Darin finally talked me into taking a pregnancy test and it was positive! I have to admit that until I was 12 weeks pregnant I was waiting for our baby to die. I never thought we would make it out of the first trimester. Well the first trimester came and went and I thought for sure our sweet baby was going to die in the second trimester. I was happy to be getting further along but afraid something was going to go wrong. Now here we are full term and everything is still going good. Our sweet little Aidan can show up any day now. All I keep thinking about is everything Darin and I have been through in these last few years. We were alone when we lost our babies and many people did not care. Many people did not see them as children but to us they were our children. Now during this pregnancy me and Darin seem to be alone again. I really thought everyone would be overly happy because of everything we had been through. I guess I was wrong. Darin and I only need each other and if I could I would move far far away and never talk to anyone ever again. I am happy and nothing anyone does is going to change that. I may get upset at people at times but I will talk it out with husband and move on. My life is amazing right now and I am sorry you may be jealous but you need to grow up and get the fuck over it!