Friday, May 10, 2013

my dad

Every once in a while I will look at Aidan from a weird angle and see my dad. It has been 15 years since my father passed away. My sister, mom, grandmother, and I were at Disney World. I remember one day my grandfather called and my mom had to talk to him alone so my grandmother took my sister and me out. I knew that meant bad news. I remember laying in bed that night just knowing someone had died. The first thing I said to myself was “it can not be my dad; he is too young to die.” When we got back from Disney World my mom sat us down in my grandparent’s living room. She told us our dad had died. I started crying and Becky (6 years old at the time) started to laugh. She was sure my mom was joking. I regret not seeing him in his coffin at the funeral. For years I thought he was still alive and he was going to find me soon. I can not even tell you how many times I wished he was alive when I blew out my birthday candles. The last time I talked to my dad he was canceling yet another visit with us and I told him I hated him and never wanted to talk to him again. I wish I could go back in time and change that. There have been tons of times I wish I could call him with good news. If I knew then what I know now that last conversation would have been very different.

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