relaxing?!

Well it has been so long since I last blogged! My period is due on the 8th and I kind of want to pee on a stick and I kind of don't want to know either way. If I am pregnant I cant tell Darin the good news for over a month(long story) If I am not pregnant then we just go on with our lives and not do fertility drugs for a few months. This month was our last chance to get pregnant for a few months. I could put off the day I find out if I am or am not pregnant for ever. I like being close to my period but not knowing. It is relaxing because I'm not on fertility drugs, I don't need to lay down after sex, and I'm not sure if I am pregnant so I am not freaking out about loosing the baby. I guess on August 8th this relaxing feeling will be over and I will be upset because I get my period or happy/scared because I am pregnant. I cant keep you updated because either way Darin will think I get my period so I cant blog about it.