lucky

I am so so lucky! We struggled with infertility for years but it all ended the day Aidan was born. I still feel the pain of infertility but I have a sweet little baby to hold now. I look into Aidan’s eyes and I know it was all worth it in the end. Every test, every doctor appointment, every ultrasound, every tear, every pill, every shot, EVERYTHING led to Aidan. I wish I had known it would all end with a baby in the moment. There were so many times I thought I would never have a baby. The drive to the doctor from the base in North Dakota was long and those were the hardest drives. I would cry and I just knew I was not going to be a mom. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself it would all work out. I had some pretty low points. We had a big walk in closet and I use to sit in there and cry. I would sit on the floor and just let it all out. Then I would peel myself off of the floor and move on with my day. I never thought I would be able to hold my baby, hear him cry, kiss a boo boo, see him smile, but now I get to do all of those things and it feels great.