Friday, May 4, 2012
As Mother’s day grows closer and closer I am not sure how I feel. I am sad as I think about Weylin and Holly but excited to think of this baby. Sometimes I can’t help but think why me? Why am I infertile? Why did I loose two babies? Why and I lucky enough to be pregnant again? There are so many infertile couples that should be pregnant as well. I am so happy to be this far along and I am so excited the baby is healthy so far. Mother’s day is a reminder of what I have always wanted. I have always wanted to hold my baby in my arms! I don’t want to mourn the lose of my children, I don’t want to be sad when I look at the past, and I don’t want to be judged for the pain I feel. As I sit here writing tears of joy are running down my face. I love that I have another opportunity to have a baby. I want nothing but the best but I can’t help but think of the worst.