Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Bad Night!?

Well yesterday was the last day of the double dose of Clomid. I am laying in bed watching Teen Mom. I really hate this show, it makes me upset and I cry every time, but I cant seem to stop watching. People really don't understand how hard it is to be infertile unless they are infertile. I hate that we are trying to get pregnant again. I was pregnant and I thought we were done! I have always wanted a big family but after I found out I was pregnant I didn't care how many I would have I just wanted my infertility journey to be over. I have to say in a weird way I am glad I am crying and really emotional. Last month the Clomid didn't make me so emotional and it didn't work so maybe being more emotional is a sign that it worked this time. We went to the pumpkin patch with a friend and his son the other day. It was pretty fun but hard at the same time. I cried while we were there, it was hard to see all the kids playing. I just kept thinking "I should be seven months pregnant" and "will I ever have a child that could play here." I guess today is just one of those days. I feel sad and wish Darin was home so I could talk to him about it. I don't really know what else to say tonight.

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