WAIT!?

Don't you feel like you are always waiting? As a child I waited to grow up. In high school I waited to graduate. In college I waited to get into the nursing program. I have waited for birthdays and holidays. As an adult I waited to find the man I loved. I found my soul mate. We waited to decide to have children. January of 2008 we decided to start trying to have a baby. As the months went by we kept waiting. A deployment came up so we waited some more. The doctors appointments started and in September of 2009 I found out I had PCOS. After more test I was put on pills. I waited for the pills to work, they never did. Then we moved so I waited to see yet another doctor. More test and more pills and a seaman sample. Waiting for the results was stress full to say the least. Another doctor and more blood test. I was put on Clomid and April 30th 2010 we found out our dreams have come true. I was pregnant. We then waited for more blood test results. Then we waited for our first doctors appointment. On June 17th 2010 I started spotting. I went in the next day for blood work. The results were in and the phone rang. The doctor said my levels were low and I may be having a miscarriage but he wanted me to wait the weekend and get the levels checked again on Monday. Darin and I waiting four long days before loosing our baby. I had a miscarriage on June 21st. I then waited a week to have more blood work done and then another week for more. My levels are finally back to normal and physically I am able to get pregnant again. The doctor said we should wait at least two periods. With PCOS two periods for me could be two months or six months. The doctor recommended that we use condoms or I go on birth control. I would rather spend money on pregnancy test then condoms. I feel like my whole life I have been waiting for something. I will not waste chances of a baby with a condom. I am done waiting, I will try to get pregnant right away. I will wait the rest of my life for a baby if I have too but I will not wait to try! I don't care what the doctors say! Darin and I will now forever be parents, we may not be able to hold our baby but our baby will be with us forever. We will make great parents to a baby we can hold and see, but even now we are great parents to our angel baby and our future babies. We will fight as hard and as long as it takes to hold a baby in our arms.