Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small

Sunday night Darin and I were watching the Simpson's. In the episode Marge and Lisa were on the couch, watching movies, eating ice cream, and painting each others toe nails. I could not help but cry. It made me so sad thinking that I cant have moments like that with my sister or my cousin anymore and I may never have a daughter to bond with. I know to some it may seem silly that a scene from a cartoon made me cry but it was not so much the show it was the thoughts that came to me as I watched. I want my husband to have a son he can play sports with and go fishing with. I feel bad that it may never happen. The infertility is my fault and no matter what I know Darin will stay with me but I feel bad that I cant give him what we both want. I think as the time passes I am thinking more and more about life with out children. I can not say I would be 100% happy but I do think I would have a great life with Darin. If we have kids or if we don't have kids Darin and I will still be married! I was listening to Rascal Flatts "I Won't Let go" and I think everyone deserves a man that would do the things from that song. I am so lucky to have Darin, when I am having a bad day he makes me smile and he holds me when I cry with out complaining or pulling away. I love him so much!
My favorite lyrics from the song ~
"I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight"
"And I wont let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it"

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean sweetie. It's so hard to be away from family & miss those bonding moments or miss being there for family. My sister's hub left her recently & it kills me to be so far away. About the toennails, Maybe your guy can paint them. It usually doesn't end up pretty but I love it. Mine only does it once in a super blue silvery moon(aka once every few years).
    I love that song, I played it a bunch of times yesterday. :)