Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dreams

I never have dreams that I am pregnant or have a baby. In my dreams pretty much everyone else is pregnant or has a baby. Two days before I found out I was pregnant I had a dream that I had a baby, it made me sad because I thought I would never have a baby (it was a hard month for me) Last night I had a dream that me and few friends were in a public bathroom taking pregnancy test. There were four of us there and three of them were pregnant, I was the only one not pregnant. The miscarriage was five weeks ago and I was thinking like everyone says I may have been more fertile after. So I was hoping I got pregnant without the fertility drugs this time. Now the dream makes me think I am not pregnant. I don't know what to think. Here is a day in my life as an infertile: I wake up and pee, check the toilet paper for blood. I go downstairs and eat pineapple for breakfast, pineapple is something that helps with implantation.(or so I am told.) I drink 100% juice watered down and water all day. I make healthy lunches and dinners so I get all my fruit and veggie servings all day. As I use the bathroom all day I check the toilet paper for blood. Not just period blood but maybe implantation blood not like I can tell a difference. Most of the time if I see blood in any form I just cry wishing my period would not come. I have sex with my husband and lay there for at least twenty minutes sometimes longer. I have to give his perfect sperm time to get into my uterus. During the day I look up things online, pregnancy symptoms, PCOS, miscarriage, things to ask the doctor, etc. Today has been a pretty shitty day so far.(I am going to make it a better day) I could not stop dreaming last night so I didn't sleep good and they are doing something to the sidewalks being really loud and it woke me up.

3 comments:

  1. Implantation planting is a very light spotting with some cramps. When I was pregnant, I spend more time in the bathroom then I ever did before. I too was constantly checking for blood. Every little cramp or discomfort send me running to the bathroom. Old Wives Tales: I was told that when dream of fish, someone you know is pregnant or is going to get pregnant. After I had my son, I had family members calling me telling me that they dreamed about fish. I did a pregnancy test...I was pregnant.Real soon, you will hold your baby and think back about those "Trying"days. I would like one more but I don't know if I can. I am blessed to have 2 kids of my own. Feel free to call me if you ever want to talk. (Jane)

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  2. when i got pregnant before i told everyone my aunt had a dream that my uncle (not her husband) died. her sister told her that meant me or my sister was pregnant and i was. i want to believe dreams really mean something because the first time i ever dreamed i had a baby 2 days later i found out i was pregnant. although when i dream i am not pregnant i want it to mean i am pregnant. i took a pregnancy test today and it came back negative. i have had a couple mood swings and that is weird for me but it could just be because darin is leaving. usually a few weeks leading up to him leaving i pick little fights and have mood swings, im not really sure why and i dont do it on purpose. i am hoping the mood swings are not my period. i usually just get really sad and bad cramps not mood swings but with all the freaking pills who knows anymore lol .

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  3. Have you ever heard of "False-Negative" pregnancy test? I had one. The test said Neg. when in fact I was actually pregnant.When we finally figured it out...it was to late, I was miscarrying. If your questioning it, have a blood test done. So to throw you off more...That same pregnancy, after the negative test result, I had a period (Not spotting).The Dr. said that I might have been pregnant of twins and lost one and short after lost the other baby too. There was no way of telling if that was the case. If so, then I would have had 2 pregnancy's with twins, and have lost 5 babies instead of 4...
    As for mood swings. I put my poor husband through hell. It didn't help that I was a emotinal wreck and on top of that taking strong drugs so that I can ovulate. I always say, another man would have thrown down the towel and haul ass. My husband stuck by me through it all. We are so blessed to have such great men in our lives. (Jane)

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