Friday, August 13, 2010

The Longer The Wait The Sweeter The Kiss

After two long weeks my husband will be home tomorrow afternoon! I have always been one of those wives that counted down the days till deployments and long trainings were over. It came to a surprise to me how long these two weeks felt. Two weeks is not a long time and my husband and I have been apart way longer before. I really use to be such a different person. I use to be such a care free person, even after I got married. Deployments came and went and I became more grounded and mature. After every time my husband and I were apart we grew closer when he got home. Finding out it was going to be hard for us to get pregnant made me a more emotional person. Don't get me wrong I have always cried about things. After more test and pills I got more and more emotional. Then the Clomid came; since going on the Clomid I cry about little things, sad things, stress full things, well pretty much everything. When I was pregnant I cried often but mainly happy tears. I was so overjoyed! After the miscarriage I have noticed how extremely different I really am. I am still an emotional wreck. I cry often and not always for any reason. I look at the world differently now and maybe that is not a bad thing. I think of how short life is and how important every moment together really is. I feel excited that my husband is coming home but I have been thinking of the baby. I want to stay strong but days like this I just feel broken. It really is not even the whole day just the past hour and I am sure I will be fine soon enough. Ok on to a happier note. Darin will be on a plane headed for Minot by 6:00am! I can't wait to see him and even more I cant wait to kiss him. I miss snuggling with him! I love my husband so much!!!

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