Friday, September 3, 2010

Changing For The Happier!!!

To the people who read this that are not infertile you may think this blog is crazy and weird but to the people who are infertile you will know what I am talking about. My period was late and I felt like I did when I was pregnant. I went to the doctor and had a pregnancy test. No need to get the results because my period came this morning. I have cried when I get my period for at least the last year. That fist day when it comes no matter how many symptoms I had of it coming I always cry. I cry because it is another month wasted and a hard reminder of not being pregnant. The last time I got my period I cried because it reminded me I lost the baby, it reminded me that Darin and I would have to start trying again. Darin and I had a long talk yesterday and he told me that I have been very different since the miscarriage but he understands. I want to get back to how I was before but I don't think I can. It was very hard for me and sometimes I am just sad and upset. I am going to try my hardest to be more happy and that started today. This morning when my period came I was not sad and I did not cry! Instead of looking at it as a month wasted I looked at it as a new start. I will be going on the Clomid on September 5th and taking it for five days. I hope it works just like the first time I was on it. I am not looking forward to being extra emotional but oh well. So if we hang out or you see me out and I cry its just the drugs. Last time I was on Clomid I cried about everything! Poor Darin could not even keep up with my reasons for crying. So the point of my blog is to let everyone know I am going to be a happier person and not crying this morning was a huge step for me. If you hear me be negative or sad try to remind me to be happy! Thanks everyone!


  1. I know I have absolutely no idea what you're going through with your struggle to get pregnant or the miscarriage, but reading this blog today made me soo happy for you!! I can't even imagine what you go through everyday, but I love the outlook that you're having now. I hate to see people sad, so I'll remind you to smile!! :D

  2. thanks! i am trying to be strong and get through this. i still have some bad days so i will for sure need some reminders :) i figured if i want to be happy i have to make myself happy and remember all the good things in my life.

  3. Love ya Brianna. I admire you for staying so strong. always in my thoughts