7 Months...

Today marks 7 months since we lost the first baby. With the due date of that baby the first week of this month it has not been easy. When I think about the miscarriage I think about where we would be if it didn't happen. We would have our baby right now and our infertility journey would be over. We would have a newborn to care for and love. Instead we are waiting to see the fertility doctor and filling out tons of paperwork for the genetic counselor. This day 7 months ago I thought I would be sad and crying forever. I felt like complete shit! It was the worst day of my life. Now 7 months later the crying doesn't happen all the time, I will never forget my babies. No matter what anyone says I will never "get over" it. We are starting 2011 alot like we started 2010 more questions then answers and waiting for doctor appointments. I WILL have a baby one day! I want it to be today but I know I will have to wait. When it is all said and done this will make me a better mother, I will love my kids more, and be so much more grateful for them.