Pity Party for me....

I have been spending the day with my husband. It has been a pretty good day. In about a week our baby would be one month old. It is hard to hear other people are pregnant or having babies. We should have one! I am so grateful for everything we have but I really do want our baby. Right now I don't even have a chance of getting pregnant and I may never have a chance to get pregnant again. I want to go back on Clomid I don't want to wait for doctors to tell me if I can or not. There is so much going on next month I just feel overwhelmed and upset. I want to go back in time so bad and make the doctors do something so I could have kept the first baby! If I knew then what I know now my life would be so different. I wish it was a year ago so I could not make friends! Every time I turn around someone else is announcing they are pregnant. Of course I am happy for them but I am so sad for myself. I don't want to be the only one with out a baby and sometimes that is how I feel. I don't even have anymore hope I will get pregnant with out Clomid. I should be writing about my three week old baby right now not writing about wanting a baby.