pain...

I went in for the ultrasound to check my ovaries this morning and it hurt like hell! I was crying almost the whole time then I cried almost the whole way home. Darin has to work so he was not able to come with me and the next ultrasound on CD13 he has to work so he will miss it. I do alot on my own because Darin works alot and I understand that no matter what the Military comes first but sometimes it would be nice to have a ride home and I would have loved to hold his hand today.

I have been thinking and Infertility is so painful emotionally and physically. I feel bad that I cant give my husband a child and alot of the stuff I need done hurts really bad. Going through infertility you have no shame, many people see me naked and many people look "down there" alot. When I was younger I use to hate to go to the doctor, I thought it was weird and uncomfortable. Now it is just so routine for me I don't even care. Dealing with all this crap has made me alot more comfortable with my body. I want to be a mother to a baby I can hold in my arms and any amount of pain or tears will not stop me!

Last night was a great night! Darin taught me how to play NCAA 2011 and I must say it was pretty fun! I was a little drunk and half the time I had no clue what guy I was controlling but we had a good time. I am excited to play it again sober so I can really try to kick Darin's ass. Today at 2"30pm I will start the Clomid!