Friday, April 15, 2011

Picture that you may not want to see!!!

I am posting a picture that may offend some people but when I look at this picture I see my baby girl!

The first miscarriage was very painful and I had to go to the ER. I passed the baby in the bathroom and there nothing I could do but flush. It was hard never getting to see that baby or know if it was a boy girl.

The second miscarriage was alot different! We say the baby's heartbeat and two weeks later we found out the baby died. The doctor didn't want to run test on the baby but I needed some answers! I passed the baby on a Sunday night and I got to hold her and say goodbye. I can not even put into words how it felt to hold my baby knowing it would never grow up. I kept the baby and put her in a bag so I could get her tested and figure out what happened. The next day I drove to the doctor office with my baby in my purse. It was very hard and I cried alot. I took pictures of the baby so I could always have that memory. We know why the second baby died and we know it was a girl! I have to say knowing more the second time made it alot easier to deal with.

This picture is the only picture I have of our baby girl.

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